Be afraid

If you’ve ever been betrayed by somebody you love, lost your means of income or suffered a serious problem with your health, you will have known fear.

I’ve known all these things.

And yet, everything turned out all right and I know now that these were my chances, my challenges, my opportunities to grow and flourish as a human being.

We need to be afraid.

Why do we tell our children that a wolf ate Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother and would eat her too? Why the same wolf would huff and puff and blow our houses down? Why an evil witch might fatten you up for her dinner?

Parents protect their progeny by teaching them that the world is a happy land full of rainbows and ponies and parties. And this is great. Because the world can be a wonderful place.

But if that’s all a child learns then it’s a fantasy that doesn’t give them the skills they need to thrive in the real world.

Because Granny does get sick and die. The bank does take away your house if mummy and daddy can’t pay the mortgage.

Bad people do sometimes take children away to a dark place.

Scary stories teach children that horrible things happen too, but it’s ok. It’s ok to be afraid.

“I have lived through this horror” said Eleanor Roosevelt, having suffered the death of her brother and both of her parents when she was a child. She gained “strength, courage and confidence” by enduring the grief.

The loss of a parent is for most children the worst possible thing that could happen to them. And yet nature has devised a way to turn even such an awful occurrence into something magical.

According to psychologist Marvin Eisenstadt, under the right conditions, strong fear can create a momentum of motivation that can propel a child to great heights in life.

Consider Hansel and Gretel. They are abandoned by their parents but discover within themselves a tremendous reserve of ingenuity and imagination.

Paul McCartney and John Lennon both lost their mother in their teens. Without this double tragedy it’s unlikely they would have formed the Beatles and written songs and music of such astonishing maturity.

George Washington, Gandhi, 15 Prime Ministers; and yes, even Lenin, Stalin and Hitler suffered the loss of a parent in childhood. There’s a seriousness of intent—a willingness to endure pain and struggle—that underlines the attitude of people destined to lead. And many times you will find great fear at the root of it.

Does fear of failure wake you in the middle of the night? Good! Get up and get working.

Are you afraid of being poor? Good! Find a way to earn more and spend less.

Are you worried about being ill, alone, of being humiliated by your lack of knowledge? Good! Get out there and exercise, meet new people and take some classes.

Be afraid.

Be very, very afraid.

Because I know that there is an answer to your fear. There is a beautiful solution waiting for you to find it.